


I can help you pick up the pieces

by curiouslygray



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Blood, F/F, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 17:12:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4754477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiouslygray/pseuds/curiouslygray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla and Laura started dating during their freshman year at Silas University. After their freshman year, Carmilla dropped out and worked odd jobs. After Laura's sophomore year, they moved into an apartment together. Carmilla finally settled on working the night shift at the police station as a receptionist. Between Carmilla constantly working to pay rent and Laura going to class (plus working at a local diner), they barely saw each other.<br/>Maybe that's how they ended up in this situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I can help you pick up the pieces

Carmilla unlocked the door to her shared apartment. She was tired and her mind was foggy as she kicked off her shoes. Working the night shift at the station taking calls sucked, but it paid better than the day shift. Or maybe it was the double shifts she constantly worked. Either way, she barely registered her girlfriend saying, “ _Good morning Carm! How was work?"_ before collapsing onto the secondhand couch.

Laura watched as her drained girlfriend curled up on the dark green couch as she made herself some scrambled eggs for breakfast. She sighed, between Carmilla working from six in the afternoon to six in the morning and her having classes at Silas throughout the day and waitressing at a local diner, neither of them had really had time to relax with each other. Carm slept while Laura was at class, they might swing by the diner before they go on the job to grab some dinner, but fifteen minutes couldn’t really push the conversation past _how were your classes?_ or _how’s everyone at the station doin_ g _?_ They wanted to bring up a weekend-get-a-way with her, but they just never had the time.

Checking her watch, she saw she still had time to jump into the shower before she had to go meet Danny, who was going to help Laura with her paper. Now that Danny wasn’t Laura’s TA, she felt more comfortable helping her out with these things.

* * *

When Carmilla regained consciousness, with was almost noon. It was Wednesday, so Laura would be getting out of her Math class in twenty minutes or so. Carmilla considered meeting up with her for lunch, something they hadn’t done for a while. She fished her phone out of her jacket pocket and sent.

**Carmilla (11:56am):** lunch?

 

**Laura (12:03pm):** Sure. Do you want to meet me at the diner?

 

**Carmilla (12:04pm):** Sounds good. I can pick you up if you want.

**Laura (12:11pm):** Nah it’s fine. I can walk. Class got out early. I’ll be there in a few.

 

Carmilla had changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and her red flannel, grabbing the black leather jacket she always wore on her way out. When she got to the diner, Laura was sitting in one of the corner booths, talking to one of the waitresses, sipping at what was probably hot chocolate.

“Hey cutie,” Carmilla said, sitting down across from Laura, “How were your classes?”

“They were the usual. How was work? Get any interesting calls?”

Carmilla shrugged, “Not really. A few calls to a club in town, drunk college kids being stupid, the usual.”

They sat in silence as they looked through the menus, despite always ordering the same thing. Over the past three years of dating, they had become comfortable in the silence. They didn’t try to fill it with awkward conversation anymore. However, lately they just didn’t know what to even say to each other.

The waitress, a blonde girl named Betty, took their order, and left them in their uncomfortable silence again.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in months,” Laura murmured.

“We have to pay the bills, you have to maintain your education,” was Carmilla’s reply. Laura looked at Carmilla, like really looked at her. Her jacket was off, but her flannel’s sleeves were pulled down all the way. Her skin looked paler than normal, her eyes slightly bloodshot and outlined by dark circles.

“Have you been getting enough sleep? You look terrible.”

“Wow, thanks. You look great too.”

“I’m being serious Carm. Maybe you can talk to the chief about working during the day, or only the one shift.”

“How would we pay rent then? Look,” Carm gently grabbed Laura’s open hand, “I’m fine. Maybe I’ll see if I can take this weekend or next weekend off. Then we can have some alone time. How’s that sound?”

Laura agreed and their food arrived. They ate in silence before Laura had to dash off to her next class. Carmilla paid the bill and headed back to the apartment.

As she walked back, unhappy thoughts clouded her mind. She thought back the past several months, and how so much had changed. They had moved into together over the summer and shortly after Carmilla started working as a receptionist at the police station. Then, Laura started classes and they interacted less and less. Laura saw more of Danny than Carmilla saw of Laura. Carmilla drew her arms closer to her body as she thought back to their freshman year when Danny and Laura ‘sort of kind of dated’. Danny hated Carmilla for a while, but the two slowly grew to tolerate, maybe even like, each other. For Laura’s sake.

Darkness clouded Carmilla’s mind more and more as she overthought, over processed, and over analyzed. She walked into the apartment building, into the apartment, and she was standing in the kitchen with the open knife drawer in front of her before she even realized what she had been thinking.

* * *

 

“Hey Carm! I’m back. I got some of those chips you like on my way back from class.” Setting the two bags of groceries down on the kitchen table, Laura listened and heard what sounded like water dripping.

_She must have fallen asleep in the bathtub._ Laura thought, sneaking over to the bathroom door. She pressed her ear against the door and only heard the dripping water. Turning the door handle, Laura slowly opened the door.

“Hey Ca- Carm? Oh my god. No. No, no, no no no no no! This can’t happening!”

Laura rushed over to the porcelain tub where Carmilla laid, fully clothed and submerged in water, arms spread out and over the edges of the filled tub like a bird. The dripping hadn’t been water; It had been blood.

Laura was crying as she pulled her out of the tub and checked her pulse. Laura was crying as she called 911. Laura was crying when she called Danny, LaF, and Perry. Laura was crying when the ambulance showed up and had to pull Laura off of Carmilla’s dripping body. Laura cried the whole way to the hospital with Danny in the back of the ambulance, watching the paramedics bandage the cuts on Carmilla’s arms. Laura didn’t stop crying until she passed out in the hospital’s waiting room, leaning against Danny.

* * *

 

“Laura… Hey, Laura. Wake up.” Danny nudged Laura awake.

“LaF? W-Where’s Carm?”

“She’s in the hospital room. We can go see her now. She’s alive, she’s going to be okay.”

Laura began crying again, this time out of happiness that Carmilla would be okay. Danny lead Laura to Carmilla’s room, where LaFontaine and Perry were wating. Danny tried to make some small talk on the way up, to distract Laura a little bit, but it was to no avail.

 

As soon as Laura entered the room, Carmilla tried to hide from her girlfriend’s bloodshot eyes and tear stained face. She averted her eyes as Laura approached her bed and sat down in the chair next to it. They both were barely aware of the other three leaving the room.

“I’m sorry,” Laura whispered, as she began crying again, “I’m sorry I didn’t notice, I’m sorry I haven’t been around. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault sweetheart,” Carmilla weakly grabbed Laura’s hand, “I just… I don’t know. But it’s not your fault. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

Carmilla pulled Laura’s hand up to her mouth and kissed the back of it. Laura turned her hand around, cupped Carmilla’s cheeks, and kissed her for the first time in weeks. Carmilla kissed her back as they both remembered everything they had been through. They were both crying and laughing as they recalled stories when LaF, Perry, Danny, and Carmilla’s doctor walked into the room.

The doctor said that it would be best for Carmilla to be put on antidepressants. She should also take off work for the next week or so and should always be accompanied by someone as a safety precaution. Carmilla, being the stubborn woman she was, argued that she didn’t always need to be accompanied by someone and that if she took off work, she might not be able to afford this month’s rent; Laura assured her everything would be fine. And so, Carmilla stubbornly agreed.

Carmilla was released a few hours later with bandages covering her forearms, a prescription for antidepressants, and a therapist recommendation.

* * *

 

Danny decided to take everyone out to dinner to celebrate Carmilla being okay and hopefully a road to successful recovery. And by taking them out to dinner, they all demolished two large pizzas at the local pizza restaurant. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits, even Carmilla seemed a bit happier. Laura never left her side the entire night.

After everyone had eaten their fill of food, they all decided to head home. Everyone hugged Carmilla and offered their help if she ever needed it (Even Danny “If you ever need to talk to someone and Laura’s not around… I’m here Karnstein.”)

 

That night, after Laura changed out Carmilla’s bandages as directed, they both promised to try to make more time for each other. They fell asleep curled up on the green couch watching some random movie on Netflix.

 

“I love you Carm.”

 

“I love you too, Laura.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the weird writing style. I was kind of in a weird funk when I wrote this  
> Also kind of used this to explain something to my friend.


End file.
